The Roots of “Do as I say, not as I do”

Kingdom Principle: Leadership is a balance of being and doing.

Key words:  Parenting, Leadership, Control, Change

Joshua 3:7-17 Psalm 107:1-7, 33-37 1 Thessalonians 2:9-13 Matthew 23:1-12

It is one thing to know what to do, and quite another to do that very thing. I can boast and celebrate that one thing I know not to do, and have not done is to say to my kids, “Do as I say, not as I do”… However just saying those words or not saying them – is not really the point. The point is, am I living out the very values and expectations I desire and expect for them to live out. If not then regardless of what I say, the message is “do what I say and not what I do….”

When Parents verbally or non-verbally communicate “do as I say not as I do” they are confessing that they are not leaders for their children, rather they are managers of the house. While on the surface this may seem acceptable or only option for a parent, the reality is that they have been placed in the life of that child to lead them through the changes of life. This is the very context that Jesus found himself with the leaders of the Church in his day. They had become managers of the church, not leaders of the church and in essence he said – you can do as they say, but not as they do….

The Pharisees and scribes in Jesus time tried to manage their way into leadership. The result was an attempt to control others and demonstrate superiority based on that control. But control is the enemy of change and leadership is about leading people through change. The Pharisees prided themselves on being the managers of the people, while saying follow the ways of Moses. However, Moses did not manage or control, in fact Moses released control and lead people to change the very way of life they had come to trust.

Kingdom Leadership is a unique balance of many things. Notice the balance of Paul in the Thessalonians passage. One element in leadership, is the leaders own comfort level with change. I am an advocate that people, especially parents, need to learn to expect change in life rather than working against change or being surprised by it. Before you say, “I’m not a leader”  I believe that all Christians are called to be leaders and that parenting is the highest calling of Christian leadership. To lead and to be comfortable with change, a leader must have their own personal compass that does not change. This compass is their calling. Calling is uncovered in the becoming of a leader. Joshua’s becoming of a leader if found in the annuals of Moses life. (much like children find their becoming in the context of their parents life.) This becoming is found in the repetition of experiences that draw a leader’s heart to the surface. This heart is matched with the success and validation of others that the leader’s efforts are producing the desired outcome. Leadership is an art of bringing about change in a way which others will conform to a new way of thinking and behaving.  Again, a leader who is not bringing about change is a manager. There is nothing wrong with managing, but leadership is different than managing. Managers control things, Leaders change people.

Leaders learn to find balance in their being and their doing.  This is identified by:  Consistency (being) + Credibility (doing) = Change (becoming).  Beginning with the end in mind – Who do you want to become in the Kingdom of God?  Then back up to apply consistency and credibility. Consistency is your time – (read last week’s blog) Credibility is a combination of your ability and God’s favor on you (read two week’s ago).

Questions for this week: Do you have a personal compass? This calling does not change based on success or failure nor does it change from season to season. It is conviction that motivates you to press on and pull through and gives you the mantle of leadership.  To help you discover your personal compass – 1. Find 3 Scripture passages that inspire you. 2. Find 3 Scriptures that have comforted you in crises 3. Write 3 goals or outcomes that you are willing to lead yourself to over the next 3 years.

About chaplaincasey

In my Community I am a Chaplain, Coach and Catalyst.
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3 Responses to The Roots of “Do as I say, not as I do”

  1. Thanks, Casey, for your words. I find them encouraging for a nanny parenting perspective. Also, I don’t know if this counts as me “following.” I couldn’t see the button, but I logged in via fb and checked the two boxes at the bottom of this page regarding notifications. Do advise if that is not correct. Thanks!

  2. Pingback: Smothering Mothers with Expectations | confrontingchaos

  3. Pingback: IAM sinless | confrontingchaos

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